Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
