Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
