threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
