me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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