he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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