i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
