She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
