My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
