I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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