Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
