let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
