You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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