Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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