its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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