I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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