I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
