also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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