you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
