I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
