yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
