I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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