Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
