Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
