Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
