Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
