i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
