Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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