i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
