very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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