But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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