I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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