I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
