i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
