New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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