We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
