Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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