My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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