Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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