dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
