yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
