I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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