btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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