I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
