Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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