she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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