he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
