OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
