this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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