So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
