That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
