is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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