Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she pinky promised me she was 18
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We have started to decorate penises.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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