hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
